Does an emo boy really want to be happy? : Emo Boys

[Barbie]

There’s no doubt that women love a man who is “all man.” You know the type, buff, gruff and tough. A man who can protect us when and if we need protecting; he’s strong, physically and mentally and emotionally rugged. But, secretly, don’t we also want a man who is a little more like us? For years now, haven’t we been encouraging men to be more -- more open, more sensitive, more understanding, more forgiving, more sympathetic, blah blah blah.

So how is it, then, that an emo boy, “emo” being short for “emotional,” who seems to be all that we’re looking for emotionally in a man, is regularly disparaged for being “unmanly.” You know you’ve done it, you’ve passed an emo in the mall or at Starbucks, took one quick glance and thought, “Wuss.” Jeez, we can’t have it both ways, you know.

Is an emo boy gay, you might be wondering? Good question. It can be hard to tell. In general, though, most emo boys are straight, they just act effeminate; it’s part of the “look.” Bear in mind, being emo is all about looking (not necessarily being) cool. Emo boys will meet lots of girls who want them as their best friend. This will give others the impression that an emo boy has a lot of girlfriends, but in reality they’re only hanging out with you because they think you're gay (hence, you’re safe).

But what exactly does an emo boy look for in a relationship? It’s hard to pin point, because most people want a relationship that is enriching to both parties. Given the very being of an emo – emotive, depressive, sensitive, shy – it would seem to be duplicitous that they want an “enriching” relationship. Isn’t that exactly what an emo boy doesn’t want?

Can you envision a personal ad for an emo male seeking an emo partner?

SWM seeks undernourished, angst-ridden, depressed SWF for short or long term relationship. You must enjoy schlepping through the mall, bedecking my faux Salvation Army issue thrift store clothes with safety pins and other metal studded implements, scowling at people who have the nerve to raise their eyebrows at us, and mocking “privileged” white suburban kids (who in reality are us, just better dressed). My ideal girlfriend covers her face with her hair, has a penchant for crappy, loud music with little rhythm and a lot of screaming, whining, moping, and smoking herbal cigarettes. Must be willing to share androgynous wardrobe. Happy contented female need not apply.

But can an emo boy be too needy? Does he bring out a woman’s maternal instinct to ease his pain and suffering, relieve his angst, brighten his life a bit? Or, and this is where the disparagement comes in, does he force people to want to shake him bodily and yell that he should, “get over it and get a life already?”

Some former emos admit it was all a put-on. They were never really as needy as they appeared, physically or emotionally, and that it was a game. Many admit that they just liked looking the part – wearing hand-me-down Salvation Army issue clothes, unwashed greasy hair hanging over their eyes, anxious demeanor. In reality, they enjoyed mooching off their parents, often times living in the lap of luxury well away from the other emo’s prying eyes (as though they’d lose their emo badge if they got found out).

An emo may feel that they are unique, but they’re really just reincarnated. In the old days, they’d be called beatniks, later punks or goths. Emo is just the latest version of the black attired depressive guys with an aura of insipid coolness. Regardless of which generation they’re in, there will always be a flock of women drawn to them.