How to Start Dating Again : Dating

[Shawna]

Dating is not exactly easy, yet millions of individuals are doing it every single day. Some date simply because they are afraid of a more serious commitment while others are seriously looking for “the one”. Your reasons for dating are your own but you should try to be up front with the individuals that you date in order to avoid any confusion and/or heartache later.

Many individuals feel lost after they get out of a long relationship. Some find that this helps them to reconnect with their inner self and embrace this change. Still, there are others who find that it’s hard to be alone after such a long period of time and yearn for companionship once again. One of the underlying issues in searching for companionship is self esteem. A lack of this quality can often cause individuals to feel too insecure to allow the confidence necessary to even speak to someone that they are interested in, let alone propose dating.

An easy way to overcome this fear is to take a bit of time to re-associate with reality. Realize what it is that makes you tick and remember who you are as a person. It may be necessary to think of all of the reasons that someone would want to date you. Are you caring, devoted, interesting, a good listener or humorous? Maybe you are charming and intellectually stimulating? Think about all of the positive things that you have going for you and try to refer to these throughout the day to boost your self esteem. Dating can be compared with marketing in this aspect.

You can’t catch a fish if you don’t bait your hook and throw it out into the water. Likewise, you don’t want to bring a mousetrap to the lake instead of a fishing pole. Consider this when you decide to start dating again. If you want to find someone who possesses the qualities that you desire, you need to be clear with yourself about those qualities first. Decide exactly what it is that you are looking for before you try to find it. When you know what it is that you want, you have a much greater chance of obtaining it.

Another consideration is your choice in a love interest. Whomever an individual finds attractive, or compatible with, may not always feel the same way about them. This is always a risk, but it is one that a person interested in dating should be willing to take. Rejection happens and you have to be able to face it when it does. To minimize the risk, you should find out about the person’s attitude and beliefs first. This often says a lot about a person. Try to decipher whether or not you are even an option before you ask them out on a date.

For instance, your love interest is a multi-million dollar heiress who loves going to the theater and traveling in her private jet while you are a pizza delivery man who enjoys online gaming and catching the late show. Well, it could happen; however, there is a much bigger chance that you are simply setting yourself up for defeat. When dating, try to stay inside the social group that you fit into or one that is somewhat similar. This way, you should always feel comfortable being yourself around anyone that you decide to start dating and vice versa.

By taking the advice above, you should be a little bit more prepared to jump back into the dating arena. I wish you luck on your search for Mr. or Ms. Right and hope that you can manage to find someone who is deserving of your qualities. There really is someone out there for everyone…sometimes you just have to widen your perspective and learn how to market yourself more effectively!

[Alan]

Nice post, Shawna. Too bad you got a man. You are a smart one!

[Shawna]

Thanks Alan

[jook]

Thanks cool post!

[Shawna]

Very happy you enjoyed it

[kylewilliams]

have to agree, very good post. You got it right on the nose when you said about being lost. I went through a horrible break up after 15 years together and was terribly lost without her.

[goddessangelina11]

I think all of us feel a sense of loss no matter weather everyone admits it or not. Come in you just spent every day with that person you just broke up with you planned and lived out your dreams with them of course you are going to be lost.

I would be interested in seeing what people have done to get over this loss. I am at the point now where I just cant move on and would love to get some healthy advice.

[billypo]

You have to totally learn how to do and get through your life over again. It is a horrible situation and I hate for anyone to go through it.

It took me over 6 years to get over someone that I spent 11 years with. Not fun at all and I don’t plan to revisit it. I just wanted to stress how important it is to pick up the pieces and move on for yourself.

I am here to talk to anyone should then need someone to listen to.

[bittersweet]

The hardest part if someone had cheated on you is that you have to learn to trust someone all over again if you are starting to date a new person. That is pretty hard to do and I give and commend everyone that has ever been through that and can do that. I don't think I could ever trust someone again if they broke what we had together.

[clooney2]

The way I see it each relationship is different and you have to treat each one as so. Just because someone cheated on you’re the first time doesn’t me the next one is going to do the same thing.

Have a watchful eye but if they don’t give you any reason to think that something is up then you just have to either go with your heart and trust or not even try at all.

And ladies, we are pigs sometimes. Although we don’t mean to do half of what we do we just can’t help ourselves sometimes. Always remember, and you didn’t hear it from me, but always remember that we are the ones that are sorry in the end, even if we don’t admit it we really are.