There aren’t that many verifiable celebrity hunks in this world, at least by my definition. I know, you probably don’t agree, but as with most adjectives, it’s entirely subjective. Just as you might not agree with me on who is or isn’t sexy or hot, hunk is going to push your buttons, too.
When I think of hunk, I keep my thoughts (and sights!) generally centered below the neck and above the knees. I really couldn’t care less how nice the face is, or whether or not he’s got cute toes. As far as I’m concerned, that has nothing to do with the hunk aspect of it. It’s purely physical.
I don’t think I’m the only one who thinks like that. Take a look at any of your “standard” beefcake calendars; you know the ones, they’re mass marketed and merchandised to raise money for some volunteer fire house located in Arkansas. What you’ll find in the “Fire House Hunk of the Month” calendar are guys with ok or even ho-hum faces, but absolute gorgeous bodies that just won’t quit. Yummy. I’m talking well-defined pecs, six pack abs, thighs like a Tour de France cyclist. Put a paper bag over their heads, it wouldn’t matter.
Are hunky men potential Nobel Prize winners or Mensa candidates, do you think? Well, I kind of doubt it. That’s not to say that they’re total intellectual losers, but hunky men no doubt have gotten the same bad rap that beautiful air headed blonds have, you know, nothing but air between their ears.
I’ve been typing here trying to think of someone, anyone, who I would consider an intellectual hunk. Hmmm. Nothing yet. A quick Internet search with those two words pulled up Viggo Mortensen. Viggo?! Umm, I don’t think so, if he were that smart, he’d have changed his name by now. I loved Viggo in Hidalgo, but “Intellectual Hunk.” No way. Intellectual + Hunk = Oxymoron.
I’ve never been lucky enough to date a hunk. Which is just as well, I’m not all that self-confident, and would be intimidated by them too easily. I think you’ve got to be a certain type of person to date a hunk; you’ve got to be as much “eye candy” as they are. I’m not, among other things, flamboyant enough. The only thing I’ve got going for me is height and great long legs that go up to… well, you know where.
What happens when hunks get older? Some of the celebrity hunks of yesteryear are still hanging in, though I wish they’d reconsider. Sylvester Stallone, of Rocky fame, is so paunchy now that it’s a sin to have to look at him. Previously an out-and-out hunk (and see what I mean about the face, he’s not cute), nowadays, he should hide in his mansion and only venture out at night time. I’d personally rather see a hunk grow old gracefully, than try to recreate a hunkier youthful look. Sean Connery is a good example of growing old gracefully, albeit bald, he still has a great deal of sex appeal, though now its (quite a bit) less for his “hunky” body (which really wasn’t that great to begin with, since he was kind of scrawny… maybe it was the then definition of hunk).
Are there any young and hunky or old and hunky or smart and hunky men out there? Statistically speaking, there’s got to be. I only wish they’d venture into my neck of the woods. I forgot to refill my tear-off Hunk du Jour calendar.
