My girlfriend wants to pledge... should I ask her not to? : Sorority Girls

[josher]

I “sort of” dated a sorority girl before, and it wasn’t so great, and now a girl that I just started seeing a few weeks ago told me she wants to pledge next semester and asked me what I thought about it. I said I didn’t know… I’m looking for some advice about how to handle this… anyone with experience with sorority girls, or sorority girls that date outside of frats, I need your insight!

Here’s the whole story, more or less:

The only sorority girl I’ve ever dated was this girl I met in my Sophmore year (she was a Junior). I met her through a class and then after talking to her out at the bar a few times we started hanging out, watching movies in my dorm room, that sort of thing. Anyway, things were good at first, but after a few weeks nothing had changed. I mean we were still hanging out a few times a week, hooking up after going out and what not, but it was a little weird. If we were at the same bar she was always off with her own crowd, which almost always included frat guys as well as her sisters, but then at closing time she’d come find me and we would leave together. Of course I was always a bit jealous but went with it anyway.

But then it seemed like she would put as much distance between us in public as possible. I mean we never kissed or things like that after classes or hung out during the day. She was always with her swarm of sorority girls and being social I guess. It probably seems ideal, hooking up and not having any other real responsibility towards her, but the problem is once I started really liking her and said so she ended things because she thought we were “just having fun.”

Looking back I can say it wasn’t going to work for two reasons: 1) her social life was the most important thing, and I’m sure that not being “available” or dedicating any sort of extra time to hanging out with me would have made her life as a sorority girl more difficult, and 2) seeing her always happy and socializing while ignoring me when I’m in the same place as her made me more jealous, and therefore made me think I wanted her more than I ever did.

Anyway, it was for the best things didn’t get too serious. Once we stopped hanging out it only took me about a week to forget all about—guess I didn’t like her that much after all. =)

My big fear is that if I encourage my current girlfriend to pledge like she wants to that the sorority will take over her life and she’ll become like this other girl was—or worse she’ll ditch me because now she has all these frat brothers all over her. I know its her decision in the end and I wouldn’t try to stop her if she sets her mind on it, but if its going to destroy our relationship I would definitely try to discourage her. Do you think I should discourage her or let her do what she wants and join the sorority? Is a sorority girl bound to be like the first girl I knew or was that just a bad experience and not a good representation? Any insights would be appreciated…. Both from people who have dated sorority girls or sorority girls themselves…. Thanks =)

[david]

There are lot of ways to ones problems and you can solve them easily one you have better suggestions ….like the ones above…keep going mate