Black Men and White Women: Is it still a taboo? : Black Men

[Barbie]

Throughout your life, unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve likely had some exposure to members of a different race. Maybe you went to school, or worked along side them; perhaps you even befriended some. What if that friendship developed into something more and you couldn’t stop its momentum? If you’re a white woman, could you date a black man? If you’re a black man, could you date a white woman? Are you thinking about how you would introduce your friend to your family? What about the physical part? Can you envision yourself intimate with someone from another race?

Dating a black man is not the “taboo” it once was; more and more women are entering into black and white relationships. A quick Internet search pops up celebrity names from the world of movies, music, sports and politics: Heidi Klum and Seal, Cuba Gooding, Jr. and Sara Kapfer, Taye Diggs and Idina Menzel, Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren, Kofi Annan and Nane Annan. It might even be that the next American president is a product of a black man - white woman relationship; I’m sure you know of whom I’m speaking.

To be honest, black and white dating, while infinitely more commonplace than it was say, 10 or 20 years ago, is still not always accepted by mainstream society. Both of you will still, from time to time, get harassed or insulted, usually by blinkered individuals who think that by “mixing” the races the “pure” blood lines are being degraded. And I’m not just talking about white people thinking along those lines; there are plenty of blacks who also take exception to inter-racial dating. You’ve still got the old racial biases that anger older white men when they witness a young white woman with a black male; thinking to themselves, “if that was my daughter…” And let’s not forget about white guys and, especially, the black sisters… there are a lot of them out there who resent it; because by doing this interracial dating thing, you’ve effectively taken them out of the running.

The question is what’s the attraction? Is it the taste of “forbidden fruit” or the fantasy based on the rumors; you know, about black men having “fierce” equipment, putting the rest of the earth’s male population to shame and disgrace? Is it because white women are supposedly more easily controlled than their black sisters? Is it because you’re stretching your liberality to new limits or just out of curiosity? Maybe you just want to piss off your parents off. Maybe skin colour doesn’t make any difference to you, because you prefer to see what’s behind the colour.

Say you met someone on a dating website, and after much discussion, chatting each other up, text messaging and IMing, you feel that the two of you have kind of “clicked.” Would the colour of that person’s skin put you off, if you weren’t already aware that they weren’t the same as you? Or would that rather be an added bonus, so to speak? Hopefully, you’ll base a future together not merely because their skin colour appealed to you; but rather their personality, or their outlook on life, mutual interests, or all of the other things that make a person think, “Whoa! This could be the one.”

If you’ve been in and out of a mixed-race relationship, what prompted you to get into it in the first place, and what made you get out of it? If you’re still in one, how has it been more difficult than others you’ve had?

Whether you’re already in a black and white relationship, or have strong feelings one way or another, what are your thoughts on dating, marriage, sex, children, etc.? I’m curious to hear your thoughts on this (still, unfortunately) controversial issue. From a personal perspective, I believe that being in this kind of relationship can make both of you better individuals; you have to work together to overcome other people’s negativity, and you’ll be surprised to find out how much stronger you are together, than you could ever be on your own.